Unblend from Anxiety Using this IFS Method: Quick Read
If you've found a way to use anxiety, you’re likely succeeding in many ways.
Maybe it’s the internal churning that ensures you hit deadlines, the chatty, sometimes rude editor that demands perfection, or the detailed planning skill that makes you indispensable.
You’ve been successful because you worry, but lately, it feels like you’re running on empty. Anxiety is no longer a useful tool- it’s an exhausting buzz of dread, insomnia, and burnout.
If you want a new way to understand your anxiety, this quick read is for you.
We’re going to step away from the traditional view of anxiety as a flaw to be "fixed" and explore it through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.
It’s pretty simple with IFS: Your anxiety is not a weakness. She’s a Part of you that is working too damn hard to keep you safe.
The Anxious Part: Your Hidden Protector
In IFS, we understand that the mind is naturally multiple. We all have different "Parts" that hold our feelings, beliefs, and memories. For the successful woman, anxiety often originates from a Part we might call the Worrier, the Planner, the Hyper-Vigilant Part, or the Manager.
This Part isn't trying to sabotage you- it’s a Protector that learned long ago that if it worried enough, planned enough, or controlled enough, something bad (like failure, criticism, or abandonment) could be prevented.
The Part might carry a core belief like:
"If I don't obsessively check this, I will miss a crucial error."
"If I slow down, everything I built will fall apart."
"If I don't please everyone, I will be rejected."
Because this Part is always running the show, you experience physical symptoms like a tight jaw, chronic neck tension, or constant insomnia- your body is literally stuck in a state of high alert.
Why Connection is Better Than Correction
Most self-help advice tells you to "stop worrying" or "silence the noise."
But imagine telling a protective parent to stop protecting their child- they’d only work harder and get louder.
Your Worrier Part reacts the same way. When you try to shut it down, it just ramps up its efforts, believing you’re ignoring a real threat.
The way forward is not suppression, but connection and curiosity. When you approach the anxious Part with genuine calm and interest (an energy IFS calls Self-energy), you start to build trust with it.
This is the first step toward building trust with a really scared part.
A Simple Connecting Meditation: Meeting Your Anxious Part
The goal of this brief exercise is to unblend from the Part (meaning you step out of identifying as the anxiety) and acknowledge it with deep kindness.
Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed.
Notice and locate: Close your eyes and take three slow, deep breaths. Allow the feeling of anxiety to simply be there. Ask yourself: "Where do I feel this anxiety in my body?" It might be a knot in your stomach, a tightness in your chest, or a fizzing in your head. Gently place a hand on that location.
Ask permission: Now, bring your focus to that sensation. Ask the Part that is holding the anxiety: "May I get to know you?" You don't need a verbal answer. If the sensation intensifies or shifts, that's information. If you feel a simple moment of calm, you have permission.
Offer gratitude and curiosity: If the answer feels like a 'yes' or a neutral 'okay,' focus on the Part. Quietly acknowledge its work: "I see you. Thank you for working so hard to keep me safe." Then, ask the Part: "What is it that you are worried will happen if you stop working?"
Do not look for a logical answer. Just listen for the feeling, the image, or the quick thought the Part offers. It might show you an image of a spreadsheet failure, a confrontation, or a feeling of being rejected.
Offer Relief (Witnessing): Whatever the Part tells you, simply say: "I see that. I understand why you feel you have to do this." You are not promising to stop working or controlling- you are just witnessing its fear. End the exercise by thanking the Part one last time for its work.
This act of listening without judgement or agenda can immediately reduce the intensity of the anxiety, creating space for you to choose your actions rather than being driven by fear.
Deepen the Healing with Somatics
For many high-achieving women, this anxious Part is deeply connected to past experiences- it learned to be a "Worrier" because the environment once demanded it.
Dealing with this chronic anxiety requires consistent, specialized work to truly understand why this Part is so afraid.
IFS therapy, often combined with somatics to release the physical tension held in the body, allows you to safely heal the underlying burdens this Part is carrying.
If you are tired of your success being fueled by exhaustion, and you are ready to approach your anxiety with kindness and competence, then it might be time to take the next step.
Ready to Unblend from Anxiety?
The journey to peace involves befriending the Part that is currently running the show.
I specialize in helping successful, over-responsible women transition from being driven by fear to being guided by real clarity and self-compassion.
If you are ready to stop fighting your anxiety and start understanding it, let’s talk.
Click here to schedule your free, confidential 15-minute consultation with me today.
