Our Worries and Our Thoughts: What No One Is Talking About
“I can’t get these thoughts out of my head!” “How do I stop the thoughts?” “Once I can control my thoughts and feelings, I will feel better.” “I try so hard to fight the thoughts but things are still the same.”
As a trauma therapist, I’ve heard all of the above and more when people are in therapy with me.
There are a lot of things that people don't talk about, but that doesn't mean they're not important. Here are a few things that you might be worried about but don't talk about:
Your mental health. Mental health is just as important as physical health, but it's often not talked about as much. People might be worried about being judged, or they might not even realize that they're struggling with their mental health.
Your relationships. Relationships can be difficult, and it's not always easy to talk about our problems with our partners or friends. We might be worried about being judged, or we might not want to burden them with our problems.
Your finances. Money is a major stressor for many people, but it's not something that we often talk about. We might be worried about being judged, or we might not want to admit that we're struggling financially.
Your future. The future can be uncertain, and it's not always easy to talk about our fears and worries. We might be worried about not being successful, or we might not know what we want to do with our lives.
If you're worried about something, it's important to talk to someone you trust. It could be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else who you feel comfortable talking to. Talking about your worries can help you to feel better, and it can also help you to get the support you need.
You can't control your thoughts because thoughts are not something that you can choose. They just happen. You can't control what pops into your head, but you can control how you react to those thoughts.
If you have a thought that you don't like, you can try to add to it with a more positive thought. You can try to lean into the thought, noticing the discomfort. If you find yourself getting caught up in negative thoughts, it's important to talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or therapist.
It's also important to remember that everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. It's what you do with those thoughts that matters. If you can learn to sit with your thoughts, you can improve your mental health and well-being.
There are a few reasons why you shouldn't pay attention to your worries.
Worrying doesn't solve anything. It's easy to get caught up in worrying about things that might happen, but worrying doesn't actually make those things less likely to happen. In fact, worrying can actually make things worse by making you feel stressed and anxious.
Worrying can lead to negative thoughts and feelings. When you worry, you're more likely to have negative thoughts about yourself, your future, and the world around you. These negative thoughts can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and depression.
Worrying can interfere with your ability to function. When you're worried, it can be hard to focus on anything else. This can make it difficult to do your work, study, or enjoy your hobbies. It can also make it hard to sleep and relax.
If you find yourself worrying a lot, it's important to find ways to become intentional about your worrying. Here are a few tips:
Identify your worries. The first step to managing your worries is to identify them. What are you worried about? Once you know what you're worried about, you can start to address those worries.
Challenge your thoughts. When you worry, you're more likely to have negative thoughts. It's important to challenge these thoughts and ask yourself if they're really true. Are you really going to fail your exam? Is your partner really going to leave you? By challenging your thoughts, you can start to see things more realistically.
Focus on the present moment. It's easy to get caught up in worrying about the future, but it's important to focus on the present moment. What can you do right now to make yourself feel better? Can you take a walk, listen to music, or spend time with someone you love?
Seek professional help. If you're struggling to manage your worries, it's important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to identify your worries, challenge your thoughts, and develop coping mechanisms.
