The first trauma therapy session with Carly Pollack- what can I expect?
Things haven’t been great, and you’re wondering if they’ll be like this forever. Maybe you’ve never reached out for help before, or maybe you’ve tried with little change.
You’ve put in the energy to search for a trauma therapist. Maybe you’ve had phone calls with a couple of different therapists, maybe you’re still exploring and gathering information to make the best decision.
Maybe you’re reading this because you’re worried about someone you love.
Wherever you’re at in the process, I want to share a bit from my side of the computer. I know from personal experience that choosing a therapist who will actually help can feel really heavy, and really confusing too.
The thing is, I am not a good therapist for everyone. If I tried to be a good fit for every person and every problem, I’d be diluting my knowledge and experience as a trauma therapy specialist. I am not an eating disorder specialist or a couples therapist, I have the experience of a white woman, and I work with adults and not teens or kids.It has to be a great fit.
So, before we schedule our first session, we’ll talk on the phone for ~15-20 minutes about what you are looking for, your needs and expectations, and how I might be able to help. If we realize that you’re looking for something that I don’t have, or you feel like you don’t really jive with me (no hard feelings, really!), or if I notice that one of my colleagues is specialized in your main concerns, I will connect you with a trusted therapist who can best support your care.
It’s actually really helpful to find out that we’re not a good fit at this point because you’ll be closer to getting the care you need and deserve.
If we decide that it’s a great fit, we’ll schedule our first appointment on the phone. I can usually see you within two weeks, so you won’t be waiting long.
After our phone call and scheduling our first appointment, I’ll send you intake documents including consents to treatment, privacy policies, a questionnaire, and a credit card authorization form. Everything can be accessed in the portal, which is a secure way to keep therapy docs, appointments, and payment methods.
You can pay for trauma therapy using any type of card: credit, debit, HSA/FSA. The card is stored securely, and I don’t have direct access to any of the card information. Payment is collected after the session, and late cancellations (less than 24 hours) are charged the full session amount.
It’s really important to me to be clear about the money stuff, even when it can be uncomfortable. I keep my boundaries pretty firm in order to sustain my business and self. I hope to demonstrate to my clients the benefit of direct communication and boundaries.Ok, onto what you came here for.
What is the first session like?
I use a HIPPA secure link to do online therapy. It’s through Psychology Today, and it’s really easy to use. You’ll get the link in an email that I send to you confirming your first appointment time. It’s great- the link never changes so you just click on it when it’s your appointment time and you’ll sign into the waiting room.
This is what it looks like:
Plan to sign on a couple of minutes before the session in case any technological issues come up.
At the time of our therapy appointment, I’ll let you into the session and we will begin. I’ll make sure that we’re connected properly and that you can hear and see me OK. If we ever get disconnected, just click the link again. If that doesn’t work by the third try, I’ll call you on your phone.
Assuming everything is good technology-wise, we will begin our first trauma therapy session. You might be feeling nervous, and that is completely normal.
Feeling nervous is not a sign that you made the wrong decision.
Since we’ve already had a conversation and you’ve completed the questionnaire, you’ll hopefully notice a sense of ease while talking with me. You can expect me to ask a little more about your current situation including what you do for joy and fun (therapy should not be all negative!!).
If you’ve come to therapy with a specific traumatic event that you’d like to work on, we might begin to discuss your goals and how the trauma is impacting you. It is not always necessary or helpful to recount the event if doing so overwhelms you, especially in our first session.
You don’t have to talk about anything, really.
Some clients are verbal processors, some are more internal, some process through feeling and sensations. Since this is trauma therapy, we’re working with your brain, body, and nervous system.
You are always in control of the pace and topics we go into, during the first session and in every session after.
Because I am a somatic therapist, you will hear me ask about your physical body and sensations. Sometimes this is strange for clients, as noticing your body is not something you’ve done before, or it feels dangerous. I help you build knowledge, insight, and tolerance to recognize and feel emotions in your body.
During the first session, I’ll offer a number of grounding and stabilizing exercises that you might try during and outside of the session. There are so many tools and resources, so I tell clients to pick and choose the ones that they like and drop the ones that don’t work for them.
I keep the pace slow and steady, and I invite clients to please correct me when I am wrong. This is important to establish in our first sessions together, so you are always the expert on yourself. I don’t try to analyze or push my conclusions onto you- during the first session or ever.
You’ll hear me use the words “invite you to…” “curious about..” and “you choose..” pretty often. I also say “shit” and “fuck” and “asshole” regularly, but only if you do too :)The goal of the first session together is to continue feeling out if I am a good fit for you. If you can see yourself sharing your shame, terror, joy, fear, and everything in between, eventually. If I remind you of your cousin’s high school girlfriend who broke his heart and now you can only see her when you try to talk with me (we can work with that, but it could also mean it’s not a good fit!).
During the session, I will check in with you about feeling vulnerable as you begin to share deep thoughts and feelings with me. Some clients keep it very guarded during the first session, which is absolutely welcome. Others get deep and want to lay it all out for me, which is also OK.
We’ll talk about what you want and don’t want in therapy, what you’ve tried, and how to measure your progress in therapy. Some clients like for me to check in about specific habits or behaviors in order to measure progress, and others like to use in-moment observations of their reactions to measure progress. You might not know some of this yet, which is perfectly normal too.
Clients sometimes wonder about me during this first session, and I invite any questions that you might have about me as a therapist and me as a person. I have boundaries in order to keep the focus on your care, and I’m happy to share about myself when asked. I won’t ever overshare, or tell you things that make you feel like you have to care for me. I have my own therapist and supervisors, and consult regularly with my peers in order to be a good trauma therapist.
As we’re going through your first trauma therapy session, you might notice that you’re talking about something that you didn’t think was that big of a deal, or you forgot to mention something big that you originally came to therapy to address. Totally normal- that is why we meet every week.
You’ll process at a pace that is right for you.
Finally, as our 45 minutes are coming to an end, I’ll ask that we pause and sit briefly with everything you’ve shared with me. I’ll offer a couple of resourcing ideas, which might be something like pushing your hands together with force for 30 seconds, noticing the energy shift when you release them; or noticing the bottom of your feet connected to the floor; or identifying 5 things around you that are red, 4 things that are blue, 3 things that are green…
We will confirm our next appointment and I’ll ask that you reach out before then if anything comes up. Some clients have told me that they close out of the video session and feel exhausted, some feel energized. I will have asked you how you plan to care for yourself after the appointment, so ideally, you will go for a walk, play with your dog, or drive to pick up your kid as planned.
