What Reddit wants to know about trauma & recovery (March 2023)
Earlier in the week, I decided to log onto Reddit and make a post asking what questions or wonderings folks have about trauma, recovery, therapy, PTSD, etc.
I didn’t really know what to expect— would they be upset at me, as a therapist, since I know that people have bad experiences with therapy and therapists? Would they ask more personal questions about me— why do I use certain therapies, what is my experience and training etc… would they share extremely personal recounts of trauma and then ask the dreaded question, “What should I do?”
Can you just feel my anxiety oozing out?
Alas, Reddit did not disappoint. The questions were lovely, from the heart, and best of all…respond-able or answerable (for the most part).
I decided to make this post in order to showcase the questions and provide answers from my clinical background. Please note, none of this should be considered mental health treatment, and this does not act as a substitution for getting 1:1 therapy from a trained and proficient therapist (like me, perhaps?)
Question: “How do you grow as a person on the other side of recovery, especially in relationships? I had bad C-PTSD from child abuse and growing up in a cult. I did a ton of therapy and EMDR, and it worked. I no longer have C-PTSD.
However, given my background, I have what I would call "failure to thrive" in the outside, adult world. I am still figuring out my tolerances for activity and events and other people and "normal". It was like I left a whole culture behind, with different customs and expectations and ways of being, and I struggle to know what fits me, especially with work and what I'll accept from other people.
I imagine it like a garden - I dug out all the rocks and weeds and poisonous plants. It's fresh earth. But that's not a garden. I've got to plant new stuff now, and that's a different skill set - pick the plants, plant them, cultivate. I don't know how to do that side as well.”
Response: I am so glad that you found something that worked to move through your C-PTSD. And yes, now it’s about replanting and cultivating. It sounds like you are already growing insight— now what to do? Self exploration and self reflection are methods of evaluating and analyzing your life, so that you can check in to say:
“Am I in alignment with who I am?”
I might recommend doing values explorations, you can find exercises and modules all over (Pssst…. HERE for example). Sit comfortable and walk through the resources. You might find that identifying values brings up emotions- values are tied to childhood, family, culture, trauma… all hot topics that can cut deep. Anyways, to put it simply:
Values exploration, Wheel of Life assessment, identifying where values came from and how in alignment you are living with your values
Journaling/talking out loud/typing/drawing/painting about situations you feel most yourself, an diving into what made that feel so right
Reconnect wth your body. Now that it may feel safer to know and be present with your body (cPTSD really messes with that), explore your body and get to know what you like. That could include knowing if you like to be touched, the best way to use touch/somatics to rebalance, learning if you like to exercise or stretch or dance, and then doing these things you like.
Continue knowing, setting, and maintaining your boundaries. With yourself and others.
Grow your self trust by making a small promise to yourself and following through:
I will brush my teeth 2x/day
I will open a window to let in some colder air in the morning
I will say one nice thing about myself every day
You got this. You’ve done so much and you deserve alignment with yourself.
2. Question: “How do you heal when the core of your trauma was caused by mental health professionals? To get help means being highly triggered which of course leads therapists to refusing to help you which then increases the trauma done by mental health professionals and around and around we go.”
Response: First, although I don’t know I have the power, I want to apologize for the harm caused to you by mental health professionals. I am so sorry that being “highly triggered” has led to experiences with therapists “refusing to help.” And then the cycle repeats.
I know that therapy can be triggering, and I try to explain that upfront to new clients. When we go into ourselves, it can be scary and triggering. A well-attuned, empathetic, trained and skilled therapist can walk along with you as you process, explore, and feel.
I would recommend going into some self-help material- courses, modules, exploration that feels good for you. If you want to give therapy another go, explore some of the directories like TherapyDen or OpenPath.
3. Question: “Can one get ptsd from a ecstasy trip? Thank you”
Response: PTSD is caused by overwhelming terror. If something happens during an ecstasy trip that causes intense terror (like someone dies, you get news of a loved one dying, you are assaulted etc.)— you could very well develop PTSD.
