8 Steps to Take After a Traumatic Event [May 2023]

May 3

You’ve just experienced something horrible.

What do you do?

While it’s important that every person heals and recovers differently, there are concrete steps to take after trauma that will help.

*If you have just experienced rape, assault, a car accident, or another event that requires police or medical involvement, please dial 911 or 988, or go to your nearest emergency room, right now.

Experiencing something overwhelming or scary can leave a lasting impact on your mental health because it can trigger the body's natural fight-or-flight response, releasing hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.

These hormones prepare the body to respond to the perceived threat, but they can also have negative effects on mental health when the response is prolonged or excessive.

Additionally, traumatic experiences can alter the brain's neural pathways and lead to changes in brain structure and function, further contributing to the lasting impact, even if you feel that you’ve “moved passed it.”

So, first, take care of your basic safety needs. Get to a safe place, call someone you trust, and soothe yourself with food or movement, or rest.

Now, after taking care of the basic safety needs, what do you do?

Give yourself permission to feel emotions. It is normal to feel a range of emotions after a traumatic event, such as sadness, anger, fear, and guilt. It is vital to allow yourself to feel these emotions and to express them in a healthy way.
Take things one day at a time. It is important to not overwhelm yourself by trying to do too much too soon. Allow yourself time to heal and adjust to what has happened. Trying to “get over it” or “move on” without processing the event will negatively affect your mental and physical health.
Take care of yourself and your basic needs. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, eating healthy foods, and moving your body. It is also important to avoid alcohol and drugs, as they can make your symptoms worse. If you do use alcohol and drugs to cope, try to limit yourself and focus your energy on other coping.
Talk to someone you trust. Talking to someone you trust about what happened can be very helpful. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or other trusted person.
Express your feelings by creating something. This could be anything from writing music or poetry and journaling to painting or drawing or creating sand art. Expressing yourself creatively can be a great way to identify and process your feelings. You do not have to plan to show your creations to anyone if that creates unease.
Exercise or movement. Exercise releases endorphins, which have mood-boosting effects. Moving your body allows for you to reconnect and be present. So, going for a walk, stretching, swimming, running, or biking can help you to feel better both physically and emotionally.
Spend time in nature. Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce stress and improve mood. So, go for a walk in the park, hike in the woods, or just sit in your backyard and enjoy the fresh air. While in nature, look around and notice all of the colors, textures, sounds, smells and feelings of the area you are in.
Be patient with yourself. It may take some time to find the right way to express your feelings. Don't be afraid to experiment until you find what works for you. Get curious about yourself, notice your feelings and thoughts and behaviors. Easier said than done, but do not judge yourself.

Why is it important for you to acknowledge the seriousness of trauma?

The fight, flight, fawn, and freeze response is a natural biological response to perceived danger or threat. As a man, when you experience a threatening or overwhelming situation, your brain sends a signal to release stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones trigger a response in your body that prepares you to either fight the threat, flee from it, submit (fawn), or freeze in place.

The fight response is when your body prepares to take action and defend itself against the perceived threat. This can lead to feelings of anger, aggression, and hostility.
The flight response is when your body prepares to escape from the perceived danger. This can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, and panic.
The fawn response is when your body prepares to submit or appease the perceived threat. This can lead to feelings of people-pleasing, compliance, and trying to avoid conflict.
The freeze response is when your body prepares to shut down and become immobile. This can lead to feelings of numbness, dissociation, and feeling stuck or paralyzed.

It's important to recognize these responses as natural and normal, but also understand that prolonged activation of the stress response can have negative effects on mental and physical health.

Seeking professional support, such as therapy, can help individuals learn coping skills and ways to manage these responses in a healthy way.

How can therapy help you after trauma?

Trauma therapy can help after a traumatic event in several ways. Firstly, it provides a safe and supportive environment for the person to process their experiences and emotions related to the trauma. This can include learning coping mechanisms and tools to manage symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD.

Trauma therapy can also help by addressing any negative thought patterns or beliefs that may have developed as a result of the trauma. These can include feelings of irritability, frustration, shame, guilt, or helplessness.

Additionally, trauma therapy can help by using evidence-based techniques such as EMDR or Brainspotting to reprocess traumatic memories and decrease the distress associated with them. This can ultimately lead to a reduction in symptoms and an improved quality of life.

Trauma therapy is a process that requires time and effort, and it is not a "quick fix" for healing from trauma. However, with a skilled therapist and a commitment to the process, it can be a powerful tool for achieving recovery and personal growth after experiencing trauma.

It is important to have a willingness to engage in the therapeutic process in order to see significant improvements in your mental health and well-being.

It is 100% normal to feel “meh” about trying therapy.

Recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Many men view seeking help as a sign of weakness, but in reality, it takes courage and strength to admit that you need help and to take steps to improve your mental health.

What can you do?

Educate yourself about therapy. Talk to your doctor, a friend, or a family member who has been to therapy. Read about therapy online or in books. The more you know about therapy, the less likely you are to be afraid of it.
Find a therapist who understands your unique experiences and challenges. Look for a therapist who specializes in working with men or who has experience working with men with trauma. This can help you feel more comfortable and understood during therapy sessions. Ask your friends, family, or doctor for a referral, or search online (you can use psychologytoday.com) for therapists in your area. You can also read reviews of therapists online.
Set realistic expectations for therapy. Recognize that therapy is not a quick fix and that progress may take time. Be patient with yourself and the process and celebrate small victories along the way.
Be open and honest with your therapist. In order for therapy to be effective, it is important to be open and honest with your therapist. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, even if they are difficult to talk about.
Practice self-care outside of therapy. Engage in activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones. This can help you feel more grounded and prepared for therapy sessions.
Start with a short-term commitment. If you are still hesitant to commit to therapy, start with a short-term commitment. See a therapist for a few sessions and see how you feel. If you are considering therapy with me, I recommend all clients commit to 5 weeks of sessions, and then evaluate progress and decide how to go from there.

If you have just experienced something horrible or you are still suffering from trauma, please consider individual therapy.

As a man, you've been raised to be strong and self-sufficient, but it's not a sign of weakness to seek therapy. In fact, it takes immense courage to confront your struggles head-on and make a change for the better. Through therapy, you'll gain the skills and support you need to overcome trauma, improve your relationships, and achieve fulfillment in life. Don't wait any longer to start living your best life - take the first step towards a happier, healthier you.

If you live in CO, CA or VA, use the button below to schedule a free 15-minute call with me.