Online Therapy in Virginia
Therapy for the heavy things you've been carrying alone: betrayal, complicated grief, and the long reach of a difficult childhood.
Secure telehealth therapy for adults anywhere in Virginia.
Real Help, Wherever You Are in Virginia
You're the one everyone else leans on.
You have the demanding job, the full calendar, the life that looks fine from the outside. And underneath it, something you can't put down. Maybe it's the thing you found out that you can't stop replaying, checking, turning over at 2am. Maybe it's a parent who never really saw you, and the guilt that shows up every time you try to protect yourself from them. Maybe it's a loss that others don’t recognize or feel like you should “be over” by now.
Many of my clients are the professionals other people depend on: physicians and therapists, lawyers, people in tech and government contracting.
Careers that reward compartmentalizing and leave very little room for falling apart, which is often exactly why it happens quietly, at home…at 2am. We use secure video for therapy, from your home, your office, or wherever you have privacy and a decent connection. No commute, no waiting room, instead, privacy and connivence.
I work with clients across Northern Virginia, from Arlington, Alexandria, and the DC suburbs out through Fairfax, Herndon, Great Falls, and Ashburn along the tech corridor, plus Richmond, Virginia Beach, and everywhere in between.
Finding the right therapist in Virginia shouldn't depend on who happens to have an office near you.
EMDR Therapy Online in Virginia
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain finish processing experiences that got stuck: the memory that still makes your chest tighten, the moment your mind keeps returning to at 2am. It works well over video, using the same protocol as in-person sessions, and EMDR therapists are scarce in much of Virginia ~ virtual sessions solve the geography problem entirely. I offer EMDR in weekly therapy and as a virtual EMDR intensive.
Online Trauma Therapy in Virginia
Trauma isn't only the big, obvious events. It's also the discovery that changed everything: the affair, the secret, the double life you didn't know you were living next to. Betrayal trauma is one of my primary specialties ~ the hypervigilance, the timeline obsession, the checking you can't stop even though you hate it. I also work with adults reeling from emotionally immature parents: the guilt, the over-responsibility, the feeling you were the adult in the room long before you should have been. Whether you're searching for online trauma therapy from Falls Church, Warrenton, or anywhere in Virginia, the right specialist doesn't have to be local.
Grief Therapy in Virginia
Grief doesn't follow a schedule, and some of the hardest grief is complicated: a parent who hurt you dies and you feel guilt and relief tangled together, or you spent years caregiving and don't know who you are without the role. Grief therapists in Virginia who specialize in stuck and complicated grief are rare. It's the center of my work, in weekly therapy and in immersive grief intensives.
What we can work through
Traumatic Loss
Addressing sudden or shocking loss, including witnessing or learning of violent death, suicide or homicide, experiencing unwanted pregnancy loss, sudden injury, or child death.
Complicated Grief
Painful, repeating experiences within loss like a loved one's addiction, a parent’s cognitive decline, or losing life options. Additionally, the heavy grief of a difficult past and the major identity shifts after a late diagnosis of Autism or ADHD.
Anticipatory Grief
Support through the emotional toll of a known fate of self or loved one, impending loss, or navigating the grief of chronic illness like cancer or autoimmune disease.
Trauma & Overwhelm
Processing and recovering from violence, assault, injury, tragedy, or other trauma, along with the chronic stress, overwhelm, and nervous system injury caused by living in survival mode.
Betrayal Trauma & Abuse
The deep pain of infidelity, divorce, or broken trust in close relationship, or the long-term impact of childhood neglect, abuse, and abandonment that fuels adult guilt and self-doubt.
Loss of Identity
Healing through the pain of rejection or abandonment by family, friends, or community. This includes identity loss when caring for aging parents and gaining clarity around end-of-life priorities and intentions.
Hi, I’m Carly
Looking for a therapist for emotionally immature parents? Hi!
This work is at the heart of my practice, and here's why: the adults who find this page are almost never visibly falling apart. They're capable, self-aware, often the strongest person in every room they're in. They've usually read the books and can explain their family with impressive accuracy. But none of that has changed what happens in their body when the phone rings.
That gap, between understanding it and being free of it, is exactly where therapy with me lives. We use parts work (IFS), EMDR, and somatic therapies to reach the places insight can't: always at your pace, and always with respect for the kid who figured out how to stay safe.
Many clients notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions.
Step 1:
Consultation
We’ll start with a 15-minute phone call to talk openly about what’s been going on and what you want out of therapy. This is a no-pressure way for us to see if it feels like the right fit.
Step 2:
First Session
We'll slow things down and get a clear picture of what you're carrying: the family patterns, and everything they taught you about yourself. Together, we'll identify what feels most important and where to begin.
Step 3:
Ongoing Work
From there, we'll go at a pace that feels manageable and supportive. Over time, you'll notice less bracing, fewer rehearsed conversations, and more of yourself showing up…everywhere, not just around your parents.
Common Questions About Therapy for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
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Emotionally immature parents are parents who can't be genuinely curious about your inner world. Some are anxious, some self-absorbed, some fragile in a way that made your feelings feel dangerous to express. They aren't necessarily cruel, and this isn't about blame. But when a child's realness isn't welcome, the child learns to bring only what is ~ and that adaptation follows you into adulthood.
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Common signs include: conversations that always circle back to them, defensiveness or mockery when you raise a hurt or a boundary, discomfort with your emotions, black-and-white thinking, and needing you to manage their feelings. In their adult children, the signs show up differently: hiding parts of your life, rehearsing conversations, chronic guilt around boundaries, and feeling more yourself with strangers than with family.
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Yes ~ but not by changing them.
Therapy for adult children of emotionally immature parents works on your side of the pattern: the hypervigilance, the guilt, the internalized critic, and the beliefs you absorbed about your own worth. Your parents never have to change, participate, or even know you're in therapy for this work to change your life.
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Lindsay Gibson's book is how many of my clients find this work ~ they saw themselves on every page. But insight is only the first step. Reading explains the pattern; therapy changes what happens in your body when the phone rings.
That's where parts work, EMDR, and somatic therapy come in: they work at the level where the pattern actually lives.
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Yes. I use a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform, and parts work, EMDR, and somatic therapy are all effective online. Sessions are available if you live in Colorado, Florida, Texas, or Virginia. If you're in crisis or need immediate support, please call or text 988 ~ this work will still be here when you're ready.
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No. You don’t have to do anything, really.
This work isn't about forcing a dramatic moment. Some clients eventually share more of themselves with their family. Some choose distance or low contact. Many simply stop needing their parents' approval to feel solid, and the relationship gets lighter because less is riding on it. There are so many right ways to do this, and we'll find yours.
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This question is itself part of the pattern: minimizing your experience because someone else had it worse. You don't need a catastrophic childhood to do this work. If you can't be yourself around your parents, if boundaries come with guilt, if you're exhausted after every visit ~ that's enough of a reason to be here.
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This is important. Slowly, and from the inside out. The reason boundary scripts from the internet don't work is that the hard part isn't the words ~ it's the guilt and fear that fire when you say them. In therapy, we work with the parts of you that learned boundaries were dangerous, so that setting one stops feeling like a betrayal. The script gets easy once the guilt quiets down.
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No. If your parent is aging, this can be the most important time ~ working on this now changes what your grief will be later, and it often overlaps with caregiver grief and anticipatory loss, which is core to my practice. If your parent has already died, the managing has ended but the grief may be tangled: guilt, relief, anger, and mourning for a recognition that never came. I've written more about [anchor: guilt after an abusive parent dies].
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Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation.
We'll talk about what you're looking for, I'll answer any questions about my approach, and we'll see if it's a good fit. You don't need to have your story organized ~ that's what the work is for.
You don’t have to keep shrinking or bracing.
If you want to feel like yourself again ~ everywhere, with everyone ~ therapy can help.
Therapy for adult children of emotionally immature parents in Colorado, Florida, Texas and Virginia.